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A Door of Ash and Alder

by Into Chaos

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1.
Prelude 01:07
Detraxero te cum his qui descendunt in lacum. Ad populum sempiternum conlocavero in terra novissima. Non habiteris in terra viventium.
2.
Behind a door of ash and alder, Are you waiting for me still? Here at the very edge of ages, I’ll wait forever if you will. I still see you at the threshold. Your fingers traced the wood grain through the dust. (And now I trace it for you.) I speak to you as if you hear me, Somewhere on the wrong side of the worlds. (Where all the stars change places.) Were you afraid of what we’d find there? Behind the universe’s walls? If I had hoped that you would falter, If I was scared, was that so wrong?
3.
“Step through the hall of fears,” she seemed to beckon, reaching. “This heart of broken glass will be no match for me.” Should there be galaxies of hate beneath the crumbling archways, Her love, like Atlas, holds the Earth back from the sounding sea. These will be secrets, mine to keep. These will be treasons, buried deep. Our footsteps softened by the dust of fifteen thousand ages, We brushed our fingers on the palisades of silent stone. Where none had ever walked, she laughed, her breath a whisper: “Remember that the trails we find will never lead us home.” Don’t be afraid (though every door swings open). We will be safe (though endless chasms yawn). Breathe deeply (the gears of time are slipping). Stay here, stay close.
4.
The staleness of the air inside the pyramids Must have tasted just this way. But where those seekers found their chambers and their passages, We found a continent of graves. I held my breath, afraid to speak, Afraid to let the balance shift. I felt my blood, my pounding heart, Here in this house of silences. Did the dead bury their dead in tombs beneath our feet? Or were they scattered by the years? At first I feared that we would stumble on leviathans, But only echoes met us here.
5.
There are planets that our eyes have never watched. I lay beside you wrapped in dust no one has ever touched. There are skies beneath which men have never walked. When I searched for constellations, all the stars were wrong. You wanted something no other eyes had seen. I only wanted you. You glimpsed a world no map could ever reach, But you meant more than worlds to me. There is an ocean with a surface still as stone. I held my hand above the waters, scared to trouble them. There is a fortress crumbling back into the shore. We searched for entrance but the doors had sunk below the earth. Was it there I caved to doubt? And harbored treason? I wondered how to bring us home, Against your wishes. A history beneath our feet. Empires sink below the sea.
6.
Trace the way back through The branches and the twisted roots That led you here, and led from me to you. The long-forgotten house. The vines in patterns spiraled out. The door upstairs we never should have found. I will save you if you hate me for it always. I will save you if you never understand. I will slay this dream before it kills you. I will lead us home again. Am I the cautious one? The careful line, the measured touch? Well, someone had to safeguard what we loved. You bet our life, our home, On odds that we could never know, But the wager wasn’t ever yours alone. I will save you if it breaks your heart to pieces. I will save you if you never can forgive. I will bring you back from this obsession. I will bring us home again.
7.
If I could show you all my hunger. Unearth it in my shaking hands. If I could reach inside and grasp it. If I could make you understand. This world is bigger than we know. Bigger than the fence around our home. And when my eyes are dead to wonder, May I be truly dead and gone. If I could make you feel this longing. The way the edges fade to gray. The days are sanded down by sameness. The months and years become a cage. If I could make you feel a lifetime Of only tracing others’ steps. There are no undiscovered countries. There is no new world, save for this.
8.
Anathema 04:04
Beneath the ruins laid to rest uncounted lifetimes. Beneath the cobwebs, thick as curtains, something stirs. Anathema, The grave of a thousand nations. Malediction, The eater of life and light. What we woke there is beyond my words to outline. The thing we woke lay all my diagrams to waste. This world did not slide into slumber. This world was murdered and erased.
9.
We are lost as no one has ever been lost. The sun would die before its light reached us. A single spark among the stars. Come, stand and see the end of everything. Come, rise and sing the song of unmaking. The ground unstitching at our feet, we fled. A tower scratched the sky above our heads, And at its base, the open door.
10.
The walls shook as it came. The nails in the frames. A million years intact, This city breathed its last. Your hand reached out for mine, In fear or in goodbye. The other gripped the flame; The makeshift torch we made. The light behind us shone. The hallways of our home. We fled with gasping lungs, But still not fast enough. You pushed me through the door. I saw you lift the torch. Not towards the clutching thing, But the doorframe at my feet. If you are lost, then I am lost without you. This is a horror beyond fear. Pull down the sun, the sky bereft and monstrous. Drain the heavens of their tears. The fire took the door, Insatiable and pure. My final glimpse of you, Before you sealed the tomb, The fingers on your leg. My future dragged away. I wept and beat the frame. The blackened wood remained.
11.
Coda 02:38
I am sleeping with a memory In the place you once kept warm. I am tracing with my fingers Where your fire charred the door. Are you waiting in the silence? Or are you silent now as well? I will not conceive of failure. I will never let you go. I am sleeping with a memory In the place you once kept warm. I am breaking through the edges And dismantling the boards. I will not give in to sorrow. I refuse to let it in. Someone must have built this gateway. I can build it up again. Are you waiting in the silence? Or are you silent now as well? Tell me that you’re somewhere, waiting In the towers and the tells. I will fashion you a doorway, If it lays the forests bare. I am carving ash and alder. I will come and find you there.

about

Upstairs, there is a door.

It sits between two others, each leading to ordinary rooms. As they should, in this ordinary house. But this door in the middle, the one made of ash and alder, is different. This door leads to another planet.

Through it you see the ruins of ancient buildings. Towers and walls, sunken with age, and paving stones cracking under a faded sun. Behind this sun, much smaller than our own, there are stars. You recognize none of their patterns.

You will step through the door. Who would not? You will see the mountains and the silent ocean. Wherever you go, you will hear nothing but your own echoes, loud as footsteps in a tomb.

You will go. But will you return?

credits

released October 18, 2017

Jackie LeFevers: vocals, choirs.
Zoey LeFevers: vocals, drums.
Matt LeFevers: guitars, bass, keyboards, additional vocals.

All songs written by Matt LeFevers. Copyright 2017. All rights reserved.
Produced, engineered, and mixed by Matt LeFevers at The Mercury Room.
Mastered by Michael at Sound Mixology.
Graphic design by Matt LeFevers.
Band photo by Jake Hartin.

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Into Chaos Phoenix, Arizona

Melodic death metal with guitars and yelling.

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